My shoulder/neck is slowly recovering now, I pulled a muscle pretty bad on my left shoulder like two weeks ago, but with massage therapy it seems like it's healing pretty quick. It just takes time like all injury does, but it seems like everybody at work is getting injured nowadays. 

Seems like I've been lazy nowadays since I haven't been blogging as often as I like to. But work has been ok, Mike's baby is so cute, they named him Trevor Quinn Russell and of course the baby is tiny and he is causing his parents to have sleepless nights. Therefore, whenever I work with Mike in the morning he looks extremely exhausted and he doesn't use the computer much nowadays or watch tv and he has to do all the chores at home. Since Nicole is still on bed rest for like another month I believe.

Thai and Jane are doing great, but what I see Jane going through is definitely not something that I want to go through. She hasn't seen Mark for so long, all her happy days and sad days she really can't share it with him. Technically she can still tell him about it, but having him physically here is a completley different story. Like last night Jane honestly had an awful day, it was definitely one of those days that it would be soooo much better and so comforting if her boyfriend was there just to give her a hug. I can be very needy at times and all girls of course would like their boyfriends to be there with them when they are having an awful day. It's rather comforting when our boyfriends are right there, he doesn't need to say anything nor does he have to solve the problem for us, just being there and a simple hug or just holding our hands is good enough already.

Jay and I was suppose to go to the movies yesterday but now he caught a cold so that is getting push back till whenever he feeels better. We were suppose to go Wed but it was pouring so we decided not to go and I was fine with that since no one really likes to leave the house when it's pouring. But I was already at work anyways so it doesn't matter with me but for him it was a different story because he was coming from W. Roxbory to meet up with me. So I just hung out with Thai and Jane yesterday, but since I didn't get to hang out with him and I knew he didn't have any cold medicine. I asked Jane and Thai if it was ok if we stopped by CVS real quick and just give it to him. They said that was fine, but whether he took any, I have no clue since I know most guys don't like taking medicine unless they really have to. Our six month anni is coming up and for some reason like instinct I guess I have a feeling that he won't remember and probably won't do anything too. Just I know how forgetful he is, and I just have a feeling he will just forget. But whether that is true or not I'll have to see when the date actually comes and see if he remembers.

Sometimes I feel distinct from him but I don't know if it's just me or it happens to every girl. I honest have no clue. But besides that I have to see we are doing good and I'm not complaining at all. I did tell him something that most of my girlfriends didn't want me to tell him, but I just thought it was a good idea that he knew and whether it's true or not I'll find out sooner or later. But I have faith in him, hopefully he doesn't change because of that but who knows guys and girls do think differently, keeper or not actions and personality can always tell.

"I may not get to see you as often as I like. I may not get to hold you in my arms all through the night. But deep in my heart I truly know, you're the one that I love, and I can't let you go."

Many girls would know, and I can say many moms will tell their daughters to date or marry a guy that loves and cares for you more, than you do. But is that actually fair? Is that actually ok when they are dating, but it's definitely difficult to judge on that, on who loves each other more. Whether it's the girlfriend who loves her boyfriend more or the other way around.
But no one loves each other the same as they love the other person, and if there is a couple like that it's definitely good, at least I think it is because they will always put each other first, they will always be the priority of each others life. 

I've been thinking and thinking for the past 2 days about some stuff and I don't what to say and it's just very difficult to put it into words. Sometimes I feel neglected and sometimes I feel a little lonely, there are times I wish I can tell him stuff right away but it's never a good time for him. Or he'll never answer on aim or when I do text him he doesn't reply because the stupid text doesn't want to go through. By the time he does reply or whenever I get in touch with him, either I don't want to bring it up anymore or I forgot or he is telling me some stuff.

Sometimes it just feels like I try to work around his schedule and like Stephen said I am kind of high maintenance when  it comes to time and setting stuff up but he is the completely opposite.
I love him too much to ever have him change because he isn't use to it.

But I've been feeling kind of depress today, Cynthia even realizes it and was asking me what's wrong. But I guess I just haven't been in a good mood because of my shoulder or whatever it is. No clue what is wrong that is making me feel so down.... weird hormones... sometimes being a girl is just a pain and no (not on period lol) lol just i have no clue

I haven't seen Jay since last Wed, and I finally get to see him tomorrow (technically later on today since its already 1am now). But today I spent the day with Bren, Heidi, Mrs. Salvador and of course Connie and Auntie Serena but I was mentioning Jay so much because Bren was asking about him and sometimes it just came up. I honestly can't help that and Bren was mentioning about Bernie too, but I guess it's hard when this special someone is in your life already and it's just very difficult not to mention him.
But it's been so long since I've saw him and it just makes me miss him, but honestly sometimes I think I don't know if he feels the same way.

He is having some finance issue now because he isn't getting enough money from work and he is running low on money. But everybody goes through that and he is really stress about that now, and he wants to take on another job but I don't see him a lot already. I have a feeling that if he gets another job I feel like I won't see him at all, I'm not trying to selfish at all but I do want him have another job. I do want him to have money, but it's tough just not being able to see him and that bothers me.

But sometimes when he says certain stuff it gets me sad like dying and just leaving, it gives me this feeling that he doesn't care and he can be leaving me anytime which I don't want. It just gives most girlfriends a feeling that the one you love might just leave and my heart just stinks to the bottom and I don't know what to feel anymore, besides being frightened and losing him. I have to be honest sometimes it makes me want to cry but I have never cried in front of him yet, and I haven't told him how I felt about that. I know sometimes he is joking but I guess it just gets me nervous. It's just very hard trying to put it into words, I can't even really describe the feeling, it's just being scared and my biggest fear now is to lose him. I don't want to lose Jay for any reason and him leaving me for any reasons. I don't want him to leave.

 It's been 4 months since I've been dating this guy and I'm very happy that our relationship is going so well =), thinking about him always bring a smile to me whether what my mood is already.